Ascent

*audio feed opens. Celia speaks softly, somewhat croaky*

I've been acting like a fucking teenager!

*begins to laugh, but is caught short by a brief coughing fit*

I should be livid with myself, but I'm not. I've lived these past few days, taking it all in... people, places... I've let myself do what I've denied myself for years - the chance to actually live a little and feel it.

*gives a gentle cough. A faint clink of glass can be heard, followed by the pouring of liquid*

And my promotion has made it all the more sweeter.

*lets out a slow, easy sigh*

It's an opportunity and challenge I fully embrace. But as the Commander says, with it comes much responsibility and I don't feel particularly responsible right now... I'll deal with it in the morning, I just want these last few minutes feeling like this, before I pass out.

*pauses, then begins a low chuckle*

Oh my... Sunday morning, waking up next to Vincent Pryce. I must've just lay there for about fifteen minutes, mind racing over every detail I could remember about the previous night... nothing happened, I'm sure of it. Nothing we would both regret, anyway. In fact, the last thing I remember about that night was feeling so relaxed, so calm.. I really didn't have a care in the world. For all his reckless abandon, I feel safe around him...

*leaves a very long pause. Coughs a little before continuing*

I can no longer deny that I've changed. I've taught myself not to care, not even for my own thoughts and feelings... things are different now, the small handfull of pilots that make up our Family are just that... Family. Something I've never had.

*a creak of leather and the rustle of soft fabric*

This badge confirms my acceptance into that Family. Trusted. Honoured. And I've committed myself to them, of my own free will.

*Celia's voice lifts with certain strength as she states the last phrase. She pauses again and coughs once*

I don't usually hold any regard for symbolism, but I got my hair cut just before the Ceremony. Losing the weight of those heavy dreads feels fantastic... my head feels lighter, clearer...

*Celia's voice rises and lowers in volume, as if she is moving her head around whilst talking into the mic*

The new guy, Jude, said he liked it. He seems a fascinating individual. There's a definitive edge to him I can't quite place...

*click of a lighter, followed by a racking coughing fit*

Oh fuck that, I really need to lay off smoking, drink and drugs for a bit. I need to get back into the gym before I let myself slide. And what the hell was I doing with nerve sticks last night?! Woke up only two hours ago in the Skyhook; place was deserted but for the cleaners and myself, slumped in a chair with an empty glass and two empty stick-vials in my hand!

*sighs with a slight rattle in her chest*

Back to business, now. Keep focused. Sure, I can live a little, but I must remain a professional.

*A yawn, followed by two thuds, then the creak of matress springs. Celia sighs and speaks in a barely audiable whisper*

All my life, building walls to keep others out and me safe. Brick by brick, steadily upwards until I couldn't get out even if I wanted to. After years of trying to rid myself of those who wanted to control me, I end up imprisoning myself.

But no longer. Things have changed. The walls will stay; they have their uses, after all.

But now I have wings with which to ascend them.

*Celia sighs contently before the audio feed ends*